"Wood Eye" joke
A man and his three friends are driving around one day when they happen to crash into the side of a bridge and completely wreck their car. While his three friends remained intact, the man had lost an eye and had to be rushed to the hospital. Once he arrived there, he discovered to his horror that they were out of glass replacement eyes, so they would have to give him a wooden eye.
Because he was so ashamed of becoming a freak with a wooden eye, the man refused to leave the hospital until they discharged him a week later, and then for several weeks after he stayed in his house with no contact to the outside world. His friends, feeling incredibly guilty for their lack of injury, decided to take him out to a club to try and cheer him up.
Though he was reluctant, he accepted. Once they were at the club, his three friends began dancing with girls, while he felt too shy about his eye to ask anyone. As the night wore on, he became more self-assured, and started asking some girls to dance, but was refused by all of them, because he was such a monster. After several of these refusals, the man felt so dejected he was about to leave, when the dancers parted and he could see across the hall a girl with vertical lips. These are lips that run up and down instead of side to side. Suddenly he regained his confidence, realizing that there was no way another freak would refuse him a dance.
He strode across the dance floor up to the girl, and said "Hey, would you like to dance?"
"Would I?!" she replied. (you have to say the last part out loud to understand it)
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