"Winston's wit" joke

Churchill's grandmother, the Duchess of Marlborough had this to say on the arrival of her grandson:' I have myself given birth to quite a number of infants. They were all pretty vocal when they arrived, but such an earth shaking noise as this newborn baby made I have never heard.'

The genuineness of Churchill's joke about Sir Alfred Bossom's entry into the House has never been questioned.' Bossom? he said,' What an extraordinary name; neither one thing nor the other.'Sir William Joyson Hicks made some statements in Parliament to which Winston Churchill, former Prime Minister of Great Britain gave signs of demurring.' I see my right honourable friend shakes his head,' said Hicks,' but I am only expressing my own opinion.'
'And I', answered Winston,' am only shaking my own head.'
Once when his racehorse, Colonist II, finished fourth, Churchill had his own excuse. He said that he had a serious talk with the horse just before the race.' I told him this is a very big race and if you win it, you will never have to run again. You will spend the rest of your life in agreeable female company.'
Then Churchill added,' Colonist II did not keep his mind on the race.'
When a General during the Second World War pompously asserted that' putting the troops in t.|e picture before a battle was the sort of familiarity which breeds contempt,' Churchill retorted:' You know, General, without a certain amount of familiarity it is extraordinarily difficult to breed anything at all.'
Winston Churchill, when asked for permission to allow sixty MPs to go up on a trial flight of a newly designed aircraft, said a firm no.' I think it would be disastrous if suddenly the country were plunged into sixty by-elections. Besides which, throughout my long public career I have always maintained that it is unwise to put all your baskets into one egg.'

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