"Who has the best dad?" joke
There are two kids, a boy and a girl. The girl says to the boy my dad is better then yours. He runs into burning buildings and saves lives. The boy then states no my dad is better than yours. He eats light bulbs. Just the other night I heard him tell mom to turn out the light because he was gonna eat that thing.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
A married man was spending the afternoon with his girlfriend when she asked that he shave his beard.
"I do like your beard, John, but I would really love to see your handsome face," she said.
"My wife loves this beard, honey," he replied. "I more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...