"United Nations survey " joke
The United Nations conducted a worldwide survey with one single question:
"Would you please give your opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure:
* In Latin America, they didn't know what please meant ...
* In China, they didn't know what opinion meant ...
* In the Middle East, they didn't know what solution meant ...
* In Europe, they didn't know what shortage meant ...
* In Africa, they didn't know what food meant ...
* In the United States, they didn't know what the rest of the world meant ...
Ole and Lena went to a fair. Ole was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes, " replied the pilot. "That's too much, " said Ole. The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If more...
Sven and Ole worked together and both were laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office.Asked his occupation, Ole said, "Panty stitcher; I sew the elastic onto cotton panties."The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she more...
When I went to college in the 1980's, I heard a lot of words like "data input" and "beta version." They confused me. I wanted desperately to know what people were talking about, what Big Secret resided in the computer industry.
Now that I've worked in a more...
Cinderella, Superman and Pinocchio die and go to heaven. On their way they talk:
Cinderella: "I want to be remembered as the most beautiful girl in the world"
Superman: "I want to be remembered as the strongest person in the world"
Pinocchio: more...
What's the difference between a schlomozel and a schlemeil?
A schlomozel is the guy who walks past a second floor window-ledge and knocks the flower pot off..
A schlemeil is the guy walking underneath....