"UC Studetns" joke

I'm sure you can substitute any college name you want into these and you will get the same results!!!
How many UCLA alumni does it take to change a light bulb?
One to crack the whip and make his bitches do it for him... How many UC San Diego students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two: one to mix the margaritas and one to call the electrician. How many UC Santa Cruz students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eleven: one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience. How many UC Davis students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None: Davis doesn't have electricity. How many UC San Francisco students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure. How many UC Santa Barbara students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but he gets six credits for it. How many UC Berkeley students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seventy-six: one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's right not to change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest. How many UC Irvine students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None: Irvine looks better in the dark (ditto Riverside). How many UCLA students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One: he just holds the bulb and lets the world revolve around him.

The president of ABC decided that it was time to build a new factory. He asked representatives from three development companies to come in and make a bid on the project. The three companies showed up at the scheduled meeting. The president of ABC asked the first company, Bruin more...

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