"Two Statues" joke
There are two statues standing in the woods. They have been there standing on their pedastals for 500 years. A girl statue and a boy statue. Finally one day the Good Fairy came down. You have been here for five centuries, naked just looking at one another. Now, the Good Fairy said to the statues, you have five full seconds to jump down off your pedastals and run out there in the bushes and do whatever it is that you would like to do. The girl statue and the boy statue jumped down, ran into the bushes, came back out brushing the leaves out of their hair and jumped back upon their pedastals. The Good Fairy said, "you used three seconds, you have two more seconds to finish what you were doing." The boy statue looked at the girl statue and said, "this time you hold the pigeon and I'll poop on it's head!"
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