"Two Doilies" joke

As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it.
For 50 years Uncle Jack left the box alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying.
One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important.
Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to her and asked about the contents. "My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you."
Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice.
"What's the $82,500 for?" he asked.
"Oh, well that's the money I've made selling the doilies."

Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)

13
4

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

200
41

An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took more...

38
11

While walking down the street one day, a Republican head of state is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a more...

8
6

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

256
97
Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 4 vote(s). 50% are positive. 0 comment(s).