"Torah Study" joke

Little Sammy was studying Torah for his Bar Mitzvah and was asked what he had learned in Hebrew school one day.' Well, momma, the rabbi told us how GoD sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.' When they got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the Jews walked across safely. Then the Egyptians followed and Moses used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for air cover. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge, drown the Egyptians, and the Israelites were saved.'

' Now, Sammy, is that really what the rabbi taught you?' his mother asked.

' Well, no, momma, but if I told it the way the rabbi did, you'd never believe it!'

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Bob calls in to his job:
"Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work."
The boss says:
"You know Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my more...

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