"The truth smells" joke
A boy and his girl friend were driving down an old country road late at night in the dead of winter one time. Suddenly they came upon a dead skunk lying in the middle of the road. There was a little baby skunk sitting next to the dead skunk. Well, with a soft heart the girl ask the boy to stop. He stopped and the girl went out and got the baby skunk. As they drove on down the road the girl said he is shivering, what can I do? Well, the boy said wrap your scarf around him. She tried that but then said he is still shivering what can I do? Well, he said. Everyone knows the warmest spot on a woman is between her legs, tuck him in there. She thought for a minute then ask, what about the odor? The boyfriend replied just hold the little fellers nose!!!
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
One day the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said, - "Buffalo Come!"
And the Lone Ranger said, "How do you know Tonto?"
Tonto replied, - "Ear stuck to more...