"The man buying farm animals...woo-hoo!" joke
One day, a man went to a nearby farm to buy some of the animals that were for sale there. He walked up to the farmer and said,"Hey, that's a nice donkey you got there. I think I'll take it." The farmer replied,"That's not a donkey, that's an ass." So, the man said,"Okay, then, I'll take the ass." Then he walked over to the chicken coup and said,"I like that chicken. I'll take it too." The farmer replied,"That is a pullet." So the man said,"Okay, I'll take the pullet." He was looking at a rooster and said,"Well, I guess I'll take the rooster, too." The farmer replied,"That's not a rooster, it's a cock." So they load the pullet and the cock into the back of the man's truck and tie the ass to the back. The man then pays the farmer as the farmer tells him,"Now, sometimes the ass gets a little stubborn and he stops. All you have to do is get out and scratch his back, and he'll go again." So the man drives away. All of a sudden, the ass stops, and the pullet and the cock fly out of the back. The man is trying to get them back when a woman comes out and says,"Can I help you?" The man replies,"Yeah, could you grab my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...
Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.
ur momma so fat that whenever she went to get her blood drawn the results came back gravy.