"The dog can talk" joke
A farmer was down on his luck having suffered a bad growing season, lack of crops and poor prices. To make ends meet he decided he'd have to sell his dog - a most intelligent animal. A few days after placing the ad, a man came to see this "intelligent" dog. When asked what the dog could do, the farmer pointed to a stand of trees nearby and informed the man there was a pond on the other side. He turned to the dog and commanded, "Hunt." Immediately the dog took off for the trees, came back a few moments later and barked twice. The farmer said, "He just told me there are two ducks down at the pond." "That's absurd." said the potential buyer. "Dogs can't count. He was probably just barking for the heck of it." Just then a duck flew overhead, descended just past the trees and apparently landed on the pond. "Now send him back and have him count!" said the man. The farmer again commanded "Hunt!" and off went the dog. He came back shortly and barked three times. The buyer finally believed the dog was smart and bought him on the spot. A few days later the man took his new dog out into the woods where he knew there was a pond nearby. He commanded the dog "Hunt!" and the dog took off toward the pond and came back a few minutes later with a stick in it's mouth. He came up to the man swinging the stick wildly around and began humping his leg. "Smart, my ass!" said the new owner and promptly shot the dog. When he got home he immediately called the farmer to complain. "Some dog you sold me! When I told him to 'hunt' he came back waving a stick and started humping my leg so I shot the queer critter." And the farmer replied, "You fucking idiot! He was trying to tell you there were more fucking ducks than you could shake a stick at!"
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