"The "Perfect" Day!" joke

The Perfect Day According To...

HER
8: 45 - Wake up to hugs and kisses
9: 00 - 5 pounds lighter on the scale
9: 30 - Light breakfast
11: 00 - Sunbathe
12: 30 - Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1: 45 - Shopping
2: 30 - Run into husband's ex - notice she's gained 30lbs.
3: 00 - Facial, massage, nap
7: 30 - Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10: 00 - Make love
11: 30 - Pillow talk in his big strong arms

HIM
10: 00 - Wake up
10: 02 - SEX
10: 10 - Big Breakfast
11: 30 - Drive up coast in Ferrari with gorgeous babe with big hooters
2: 15 - Enormous lunch with BEER
3: 15 - SEX
3: 25 - Play sports with the guys
4: 30 - Drink BEER with the guys
6: 30 - Meet Claudia Schiffer
6: 40 - SEX
6: 50 - Huge dinner, more BEER
8: 00 - Fall asleep with BEER watching TV while dreaming of having SEX with Claudia Shiffer
11: 00 - Full on, get down, gorilla SEX, more BEER
11: 10 - Sleep
2: 30 - Fart