"The Founding Fathers" joke
The Founding Fathers were sitting around a table sometime in 1776, working on the constitution. It had been a long day.Father1: Whew! It's getting rather warm in here, isn't it?Father2: Shall I open the window?Father1: No, that's alright. I'll just take off my jacket, and roll up my sleeves.Father2: Hey, that's a good idea. Why don't we include that in the constitution?Father1: What? That we're allowed to take our jackets off and roll up our sleeves while at work?Father2: Yeah, but that doesn't sound very smooth. How about "Everyone shall have the right to bare arms?"
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...