"The Blonde at a Bar" joke
A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead walk into a bar. The bartender tells them that in the restroom, there is a magic mirror. If you tell the truth in front of it, you get the one thing you desire the most. But if you lie in front of it, you disappear and you can never come back. So, the redhead goes into the restroom and stands in front of the mirror. "I think that I am the most beautiful person in this bar." And the Redhead walks out with a brand new red car. Then the Brunette goes into the restroom and says to the mirror," I think Im the smartest person in this bar." And she gets a million dollars. Then the Blonde goes into the restroom and says to the mirror," I think..." POOF! She disappears.
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
The Utah Jazz collected their 12th straight victory. In celebration, Utah residents might even stay up til midnight.
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!
Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one
Michael J. Fox has a short one
Madonna doesn't have one and
Bill Clinton uses his a lot
What is "it"?
A last name!
Now what were you thinking?