"Temperature conversion guide" joke

50°F10°CNew Yorkers turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens.
40°F4°CCalifornians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.
35°F2°CItalian cars won't start. Canadians drive with the windows down.
32°F0°CDistilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.
20°F-7°CFloridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Canadians throw on a T-shirt.
15°F-9°CCalifornians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go swimming.
0°F-18°CNew York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have the last cookout before it gets cold.
-10°F-23°CPeople in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flagpoles.
-20°F-29°CCalifornians fly away to Mexico. Canadians throw on a lightweight jacket.
-40°F-40°CHollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent videos.
-60°F-51°CMt. St. Helen's freezes. Canadian Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
-80°F-62°CPolar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
-100°F-73°CSanta Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their earflaps.
-173°F-114°CEthyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.
-297°F-183°CMicrobial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-460°F-273°CALL atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
-500°F-296°CHell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.