"Sky News" joke

CLASSIC QUOTE: A quote from Sky News
"Umm Qasr is a city similar to Southampton," UK defence minister Geoff Hoon said in the Commons yesterday.
"He's either never been to Southampton, or he's never been to Umm Qasr," says a British squaddie patrolling Umm Qasr.
Another soldier added: "There's no beer, no prostitutes and people are shooting at us. It's more like Portsmouth."

College is basically a bunch of rooms where you sit for roughly two thousand hours and try to memorize things. The two thousand hours are spread out over four years; you spend the rest of the time sleeping and trying to get dates.
Basically, you learn two kinds of things in more...

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An old man walks into a church, and goes for a confession.
The priest pulls back the window, and the old man says:"Forgive me father, for I have sinned"
The priest says: "Tell me, my son...."
The old man explains: "I am 80 years old, and I more...

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Two lil leprechauns went off to St Mary's convent and begged an audience with the mother superior. "well, how can I help you little folk?" asked the Mother Superior.
The larger and more intelligent looking of the leprechauns asked "Well, mother superior, would more...

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ALL DIET FAQ's answered...
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a lamb eat? Leaves and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So a kabab is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of more...

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Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...

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