"Retouching" joke
A old Irish woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, to a photographer and asked him if he could touch it up as it was the only photo she had to remember him by. The Photographer assured her that when he finished with the photo she would think it had just been developed. He also asured her that he could remove all the wrinkles and the scratches from the photo and asked her if that was all she wanted done on the photo to which she replied, well he’s wearing his old rubber wellington boots and I never really cared for them, could you do something about that. The photographer said he could make it look like he had his sunday best shoes on. She was really delighted and asked him if he could do something with the old moth eaten jumper her husband was wearing in the photo to which he said he could make it look like a new jumper. By this time she was really overjoyed and said that she never liked the hat he had on and wanted to know if the photographer could remove the hat from the picture. He convinced her he could easily do that, and asked her what side of his head he parted his hair on. “I forget, ” she said. “But sure you can see that for yourself when you take off his hat. ”
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