"Razorback Hogs" joke

As the President was getting out of the helicopter in front of the White House, he had a baby pig under each arm.
The Marine guard snapped to attention, saluted and said, "Nice pigs, sirs."
"These are not pigs, young man," the President replied. "These are authentic Arkansas Razoback Hogs. I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea."
"Excellent trade, sir!" replied the Marine.

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5, 000.00.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys more...

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Diary of a New Snow ShovelerDecenber 8th 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

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