"Premature Ejaculation" joke
A man who was having problems with premature ejaculation went to see his doctor to find out what could be done to cure his problem.
"When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try doing something to startle yourself," suggested the doctor.
Taking the doctor's suggestion to heart, the man went out and bought himself a starter pistol. Anxious to try the suggestion, he ran home to his wife and found her naked in bed waiting for him.
As they began, they found themselves in the 69 position. A few short moments later, the man felt the sudden urge to ejaculate, grabbed the pistol and fired it.
The next day, he returned to his doctor.
"Well, how did it go?" the doctor asked.
"Not very well at all," replied the man. "As soon as I fired the pistol, my wife crapped on my face, bit me really hard where it counts most and my neighbor jumped out of the closet with his hands in the air!"
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...