"Pregnant woman and a lightbulb" joke

Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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One day, little Timmy was at school and heard the word "shit". He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him "coats and jackets".
Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word "fucking", and for a second time, more...

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What did the blonde's long sexy left leg say to her long sexy right leg?
Nothing, because they have never met.

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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

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Three nurses died and went to Heaven, where they were met at the Pearly
Gates by St. Peter.
To the first, he asked, "So, what did you used to do back on Earth? Why
do you think you should be allowed to come into Heaven?"
"I was a nurse at an inner more...

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suzan:Would of been better if he looked at her in amusement and said "...I'll be expecting better grades from you when we get around to reproduction".
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Eyelid Man:My right eyelid is really soft and delicate...
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tim:it's alright
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Anonymous:i neet good joks
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TZARIST:crazy
Funny Joke? 116 vote(s). 69% are positive. 5 comment(s).