"Poetry Contest Finals" joke
The National Poetry Contest was down to two finalists, a Harvard graduate and a redneck.
The contest rules allowed each of them a maximum of two minutes to compose a four line poem containing the word Timbuktu.
The Harvard graduate was the first to recite his:
"Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination - Timbuktu."
The crowd went wild. It didn't seem possible that the redneck would be able to top that. Finally, with a few seconds left, the redneck jumped up and was ready to recite his poem:
"Me and Tim a huntin' went,
Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They was three and we was two,
I bucked one and Timbuktu."
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...
2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...
A dedicated Teamsters Union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and, as you would expect, decided to check out the local brothels nearby. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?" "No," she replied, "I'm sorry, more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...