"Oprah Essay Contest Rigged" joke

I don't know if you saw Oprah a few days ago, but the winners of the "Young People Write an Essay About the Holocaust Contest" were announced. Fifty young people from around the country were selected to appear on Oprah's show and read portions of their essays, then watch Oprah cry with a real-life Holocaust survivor. Why do I think the contest was rigged? It's because my essay was not chosen, even though I am a young person and, like Oprah, I totally believe in angels.

Luckily, I have a forum for my essay (Which my angels helped me write, by the way.) on Daily Comedy. Here it is. I think that after reading it you will agree that my holocaust essay's not being chosen is the biggest travesty in history since the holocaust.
Oprah is Better Than Hitler
An Essay by Kurt Metzger and Angels

Hi, my name is Kurt and I hate the holocaust. It was totally not cool. If I ever had the chance to meet Hitler, I would tell him that he is a jerk and his mustache did not look that good. Some people may say that at least he got the trains to run on time, but I think that a holocaust is a bad way to get trains to run better. I for one would not mind my train being a few minutes late if it meant the Jews can stay alive.
Hitler should have tried to be more like Oprah. Even though Oprah is rich and controls people just like Hitler, she would never use her powers to have a holocaust. Instead she does good things like give people free cars so they don't have to be late from taking the Jew-run trains.
If Oprah ever did send Jews to camps, those camps would be full of fun activities like Josh Grobin concerts and makeovers instead of poison gas.
In conclusion, I love Oprah and my favorite kind of car is a corvette (Hint Hint! Wink!)
The End?


Well there you have it. Even though I still believe in Angels, I don't know if I trust Oprah. If Oprah wants to fix this, she knows where to find me. Gimme a car, bitch!


Why did Hitler commit suicide?
- He got his gas bill

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One jewish man tells a joke to a woman, so he says:
"Why did hitler commit suicide?"
She said: "I don't know."
he replies:".... He saw the gas bill."
Then she said:"That's horrible! How could you say that!"
And he more...

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People like to compare George Bush to Adolf Hitler which I think is insane. I mean, yeah, they're both paranoid fanatics with a Messianic Complex, but guess what? Hitler won his election.

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