"Ole and Sven" joke
Ole and Sven are neighbors in Minnesota. Ole is in need of a new milk cow. He hears about a nice one for sale over the border in Wisconsin. He drives over to Wisconsin, looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts. Ole is very surprised, looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, and reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out, however, so after some discussion, Ole decides to buy the cow anyway and take it home. He calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Come here and look at dis new cow I yust
bought. Pull her teat and see vat happens dere." Sven reaches under and pulls; the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought dis cow over dere in Visconsin, yah?" Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dats right, how did you know dat?" Sven says, "My vife is from Visconsin!"
Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. They rowed out a ways and started to fish. They caught one fish after the other. Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. It’s the best fishing more...
Two Swedish coal miners (Sven & Olaf) were down in the mine working. The noon whistle blew for lunch and Sven pulled out a thermos of hot coffee. Olaf looks at it and says, "Say, Sven, vat you got dere?"
Sven says, "Dis is a 2 quart termos more...
The pastor at Sven and Ole`s church was giving a rousing heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. The pastor walks over to them, looks them directly in the eye and more...
Sven and Ole are visiting a relative in Texas. While walking along the street, they see a sign on a store front which reads:
Suits $5.00 each
Shirts $2.00 each
Trousers $2.50 per pair
Sven says to his pal, "Hey Ole! We could buy a whole lot of dem and ven ve more...
Sven and Ole are sitting in the boat fishing, and nothing much is biting, and the conversation chances onto the topic of birth control, and so Sven says to Ole, "What do you and Lena do for birth control?" And Ole says "Oh we use the condom and ice cube more...