"Old Men's Bodily Functions" joke

Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home.

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"

"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't take a crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.

"No...not really. I pee every morning at 6:00 am. I piss like a race horse; no problem at all."

"Do you have trouble taking a crap?" asked the 70-year-old.

"Well, not really. I have a great bowel movement every morning at 6:30 am."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 am and take a crap every morning at 6:30. What's so tough about being 80?"

To which the 80-year-old replied, "I don't wake up until 10:00 am."

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

223
97

This guy arrives at the Pearly Gates. He has to wait to be admitted, while St. Pete leafs through his Big Book. He's checking to see if the guy is worthy of entry or not. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I more...

40
14

A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- "No."
- "Got any fresh vegetables?"
- "No. We have only canned and dry goods."
The next day, the duck returns:
- "Got any fresh more...

37
14

Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!

7
2

The Barber Shop This guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, more...

4
2
Add a comment
remember me
follow replies
0
0
(0)
techotom:I like it
0
0
(0)
Stan:Nyyyyce...
Funny Joke? 24 vote(s). 71% are positive. 2 comment(s).