"Observation" joke
A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on
autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting.
"You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing
is that you must have no sense of fear."
At this point, the lecturer
sticks his finger into the dead man's anus, pulls it out, and then licks it.
He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses in front of them.
After a couple of minutes' silence, they follow through with his disgusting
command.
"The second thing is that you must have an acute sense of
observation: How many of you noticed that I stuck my middle finger into the
corpse's anus, but I licked my index finger?"
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
all we need to do is put a flashlight to your hairline then we will get the batmat symbol
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...