"Nursing Home Inhabitants (suggestive)" joke

Jim Goldman's joke reminded me of an oldie but goodie:
Fred and Myra were residents at the local old age home. One day, Fred came shuffling past Myra when she waved him over.
"Fred," she said, "I'll bet I can guess how old you are."
"Okay," replied Fred, "go ahead. Tell me how old I am."
Well, you got to pull down your pants first Fred.
"What are ya talkin' about Myra?"
"I can only tell how old you are if you pull down your pants Fred."
Shrugging his shoulders, Fred obliges and pulls down his pants. Myra tells him to pull down his underpants as well.
Thinking 'why not?' he pulls down his underpants as well. Myra peers at his privates, inspecting from all angles. She takes his equipment in hand, moves it around a bit, feeling here and there. After some of this manipulation, she looks up at Fred and announces, "You're 87 years old."
Astonished, Fred looks at her in amazement!
"How did you figure that out Myra?!?!?"
"Fred - you told me yesterday."

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

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Boy: Did it hurt?
Girl: Did what hurt?
Boy: When you fell from heaven.
Girl: Aww, did it hurt when you got kicked out of hell?
Boy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Girl: Really? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put F more...

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Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. They rowed out a ways and started to fish. They caught one fish after the other. Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. It’s the best fishing more...

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q. What’s the gallbladder’s favorite band?
a. The Rolling Stones.

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all we need to do is put a flashlight to your hairline then we will get the batmat symbol

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