"Miracle!" joke

An alter boy is in church cleaning the pews when he sees a cripple struggle through the doors of the church and make his way to the font of holy water.
The boy watches as the cripple manages to get up the step, sprinkles holy water on his legs and then throws his crutches away.
The alter boy runs to get the priest and explains what he saw.
"It's a miracle", exclaims the priest, "where is he now?"
"Flat on his ass by the holy water", says the boy.

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce back-country tribe during the colonial times in the United States.
The tribal chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you we're going to kill you, and then use your more...

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A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- "No."
- "Got any fresh vegetables?"
- "No. We have only canned and dry goods."
The next day, the duck returns:
- "Got any fresh more...

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The humor and wisdom of Mulla Nasruddin never leaves him tongue-tied. One day an uneducated man came to Mulla Nasruddin with a letter he had received.

Mulla Nasruddin, please read this letter to me. Mulla Nasruddin looked at the letter, but could not make out a single more...

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Taken from Quakers Are Funny! by Chuck Fager, Kimo Press, 1987:
One World War II Quaker conscientious objector had been a
professional wrestler. Once when he and some other inmates of the
Coshocton CPS camp in Ohio made a trip into town, they were hassled
about more...

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One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...

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