"Matrimonial Ads" joke

Today's local newspapers had a humour page with following matrimonial published in it.
DOCTOR = Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making me desirous of marriage. I'm looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all ills and pills, is religious minded and keeps away from all sins be it anasin, metasin or crosin. I promise to be a good doctor with no side effects. Apply or reply.
LAWYER = I hereby beg to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of husband after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i. e. Myself. Any objection would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.
BOATMAN = Must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send the photograph of
motorboat.
BANKER = Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.
CAR MECHANIC = Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above average and must run the household at a good average. Dent wont be tolerated especially in the head gear.
PESSIMIST = Why do marriage and mirage rhyme? Because both of them are misleading

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