"Marriage made in heaven" joke

On their way to get married, a young couple are involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows up, they asked him. St. Peter says, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited for an answer for a couple of months.While they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to get married in Heaven, SHOULD they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together FOREVER?"After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "you CAN get married in Heaven.""Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard to the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"

Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!

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A story is told that Richard Wagner was walking on a street in Berlin one day and came across an organ-grinder who was grinding out the overture to Tannhäuser. Wagner stopped and said, "As a matter of fact, you are playing it too fast."

The organ-grinder at more...

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