"Mammy Why do's my mouth bleed?" joke

Mammmy, Mammy, why do's my mouth bleed every month?
Ah shut your hole Cunt face.

Geordie is in Dublin on Business and takes a Taxi from the Airport to his Hotel in the City Centre.
As they come out of the Airport, the Taxi driver shoots through a red light. "Driver, you could have killed us, you jumped that red light!" shouts more...

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You'll never see a woman driving in Formula 1. It's not the Racing thats the problem, it's parking when they come into the pits.

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My mate Geordie collects cigerette filters. Peels of the paper, sends them off to a guy in London who gives him 50p a hundred for them,who then cleans them up and sends them off to a guy in Africa who re-packages them and sells them on, as Tampax for Pygmys.
No, Wait, theres more...

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I have given up Bacon. Not just for lent, but because the smoke alarm hurts my ears.

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How do you know when you've passed an Elephant?
The toilet seat wont go down.

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