"Given up for lent?" joke

I have given up Bacon. Not just for lent, but because the smoke alarm hurts my ears.

A woman asked the priest to forgive her because she committed the sin of having plenty pride and that she looked to look in the mirror and and say to herself that she is beautiful.
Then the priest said that its not a sin, it is a mistake. LOL

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You'll never see a woman driving in Formula 1. It's not the Racing thats the problem, it's parking when they come into the pits.

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My mate Geordie collects cigerette filters. Peels of the paper, sends them off to a guy in London who gives him 50p a hundred for them,who then cleans them up and sends them off to a guy in Africa who re-packages them and sells them on, as Tampax for Pygmys.
No, Wait, theres more...

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Geordie is in Dublin on Business and takes a Taxi from the Airport to his Hotel in the City Centre.
As they come out of the Airport, the Taxi driver shoots through a red light. "Driver, you could have killed us, you jumped that red light!" shouts more...

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Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.

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