"Given up for lent?" joke

I have given up Bacon. Not just for lent, but because the smoke alarm hurts my ears.

My mate Geordie collects cigerette filters. Peels of the paper, sends them off to a guy in London who gives him 50p a hundred for them,who then cleans them up and sends them off to a guy in Africa who re-packages them and sells them on, as Tampax for Pygmys.
No, Wait, theres more...

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Geordie is in Dublin on Business and takes a Taxi from the Airport to his Hotel in the City Centre.
As they come out of the Airport, the Taxi driver shoots through a red light. "Driver, you could have killed us, you jumped that red light!" shouts more...

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Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.

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Four men went to play golf.
Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.

The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and more...

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The beautiful Executive Assistant to the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich Taiwanese client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback.
However, she remembers what her boss more...

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