"John the Milkman having a birthday" joke

It was John The Milkman's birthday. Being a friendly sort of chap, he knew most of his customers and had told quite of few of them about his birthday. When he reached number 28, he was met by Mrs. Jones, the young attractive occupant. She asked him into the house and gave him an enormous birthday breakfast. Then she took him by the hand and led him upstairs to the bedroom, where they had the most amazing sex.
A couple of hours later as John was leaving the house, Mrs Jones pressed a pound coin into his hand.
"I'm sorry," he said, "but I've got to ask - why the pound?"
"Well," said Mrs Jones, "I said to my husband last night 'It's the milkman's birthday tomorrow, what shall we give him?' and he replied 'Oh screw the milkman, give him a pound.' The breakfast was my idea!"

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. After applying lipstick in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints [purportedly practicing the perfect pucker].
Before it got more...

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A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit more...

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After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family.
"But-where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him.
"Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a more...

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A Texan walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles... The salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge more...

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A ten year old boy was accused of rape and at the circuit court,
his case was called and his lawyer a female, quickly, lifted the boy on top of a table, opened his zip, pulled out his penis and asked, My Lord, Can this small penis rape and defile a 25 year old girl?
Shh! more...

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