"If pumpkins grew on trees!" joke
One warm day, Mulla Nasruddin was taking it easy in the shade of a walnut tree. After a time, he started eyeing speculatively, the huge pumpkins rising on vines and the small walnuts growing on a majestic tree.
Sometimes I just can't understand the ways of God! He mused. Just fancy letting tiny walnuts grow on so majestic a tree and huge pumpkins on the delicate vines!
Just then a walnut snapped off and cut down smack on Mulla Nasruddin's hairless head. He got up at once and lifting up his hands and face to heavens in supplication, said:
Oh, my God! Forgive my inquiring your ways! You are all-wise. Where would I have been now, if pumpkins grew on trees!
Two guys were walking in the woods one day, and they all of a sudden came across a bear. The bear noticed them, and started growling and generally getting really mean.
The bear started to chase one of the guys, who, as it turns out, was from Czechoslovakia. The bear soon more...
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!
There was this boy at school and his teacher said to him " Go home and find the first three letters of the alphabet." So he goes home and asks his sister " What is the first letter of the alphabet?" and she says " Get out of my room you stupid!!!!" more...
How do you know if a chink robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway!