"I know these things" joke
a man walks into a hardware stores looking for wood to build his house he then sees jesus and says "be not afraid i come to your aid" and gives him a referell of wood he buys the wood and asks how he knows this, jesus replies "just trust me"he does and leaves. the next day he returns for nails and jesus shows up again and reffers him he buys the nails and asks how he knows this jesus replies "just trust me " he does and leaves. the man starts to build his house and relizes he has no money for food so he thinks jesus can solve his problem he goes to see him and gives him a referell of fish and bread but before he leaves he asks jesus will this keep him fed and jesus replies "for fucks sake you come in here spouting your problems you want to know how i know about the wood the nails and the fish i was put on the cross nailed to it and had nothin to eat for 2000 years so i got problems"
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