"How do you blindfold a chink?" joke

Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

all we need to do is put a flashlight to your hairline then we will get the batmat symbol

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes