"God vs Satan" joke

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.And Satan created McDonald's, and McDonald's brought forth the $3.20 double-cheeseburger, and Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?", and Man said, "Super size them."And Man gained pounds.And God created the healthful yogurt, that Woman might keep her figure that Man found so fair.And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt.And Woman gained pounds.And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese, and there was ice cream for dessert.And Woman gained pounds.And God said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."And Satan brought forth chicken- fried steak so big it needed its own platter.And Man gained pounds, and his cholesterol went through the roof.And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to work to change channels.And Man gained pounds.And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fat fried them. He created sour cream dip also, and Man clutched his remote control, and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.And Satan saw that and said, "It is good."And Man went into cardiac arrest.And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery...And Satan created private health insurance....

All you want for Christmas is a hairline!

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you need to shut up with your 1 2 3 way back hairline.

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your hairline so far back i thought u went bald in 3rd grade

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Freedom is not the right to do as you please, but the liberty to do as you ought.

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An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took more...

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