"Girls Night Oit" joke
Two girls go out one weekend without their husbands and got somewhat inebriated.
Staggering on their way home, they both desperately need a wee and with no public toilets in sight the nearest venue was a cemetery, so they both ducked behind the fence to relieve themselves. After they'd
finished, the first woman took off her knickers to wipe herself and then
threw them away. The other woman, realising she was wearing some
very expensive knickers, didn't want to throw hers away and so looked
around for something else and decided on using the ribbon off a nearby
wreath.
So now, feeling a lot better, they carried on with their stagger home.
The following morning the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone. One commented, "I think we need to start keeping a closer eye on our wives you know. I reckon they're up to no good. My wife came home last night without any knickers on!"
The other one replied, "Tell me about it! If you think that's bad, my wife
came home with a card stuck to her arse that read - "All the members of the District Fire Brigade will never forget you".
Two newfies walked into a pet store. The first says "I want four budgies." Salesman-certainly sir, would you like two male and two female or all male or all female? Newfie-I don't care. I just want 4 budgies! Salesman-certainly sir, what color would you like? We have more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's more...
Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?
A: to get to the other side.
Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?
A: to get his motorbike back!
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...