"Free haircuts" joke
A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, "you do God's work." The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.
A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused to pay, saying, "you protect the public." The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.
A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, "you serve the justice system." The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.
The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the more...
A blonde and a brunette were walking along the beach.
The brunette says "Gosh, look at all the dead seagulls!"
The blonde looks up in the sky and says,"Where?"
1. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
2. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
3. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
4. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
5. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
6. A few more...
An Act of Charity
One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider giving a little
extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be
able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, the
pastor glanced down and more...