"Forgive me Father" joke
A priest is giving confession but he drank a little too much communion wine before hand and had to piss really badly. So when the next guy was done with his confession the priest asked him,
"Would you mind sitting in for me while I piss?"
The man being a pleasant soul said sure no problem. So the priest showed the man a list of sins and the corresponding penances to go along with them. So the man was pretty secure that he had things under control.
The man was going along giving away Our Fathers, Hail Marys, Rosaries and everything was going good.
Then a lady came in said, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I gave my boyfriend a blowjob."
So the man looked on his list for Blowjob but couldn't find it. He crossed reference it with Head, Sucked Dick, and Oral Sex but couldn't find a penance.
So he asked an Altar Boy, "Hey, what does the priest give for a blowjob?"
To which the kid replied, "He usually gives us two candy bars and a soda pop."
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