"Ebonics Xmas" joke

Wuz de night befo CrismusAn all ober de hoodEverybody wuz sleepin'Day wuz sleepin' good. Everbody wuz sleepin'all tight in they bedsWhilst Thunderbird WineDanced in they headsI was passed out on de floRight next to my MaWhen I heard such a fussI thinked "It must be de law!!"I looked out tru de barzdat covered my doSpectin' de sherifwith a warrant fo sho! Now ober de yearsSanny Claws, he be white. But it lookin' like us brosgot a black Sanny dis nightNow what I did seemade me say "LAWD Lood at dat!"It was a huge watermellon cadipulled by dwarf ratsFaster than a po-lice carTrue de air he camean whupped up on dem warf ratsan called emm by name. On Leroy, on Kendrick, On Jontarious Lee, on FalaciousThey was a sight to seeHe didn't go down no chimbly-just picked de lock on my do'An I says to myself-"Shit! He done did befo'!"He had a big sackfull of presents I spectWith Air Jordans and Fake Goldto go' round my neck. But he didn't leave any presents-just started steelin' my shitHe got my drugs, my stoled gunsan even my burglars kit! With his sack on his backOut de winder he flewI sho woulda catched' em, but he stole my knife too! He jumped on dat watermelon cadiand pulled out a switchHe was gone in a seconddat son-of-a-bitchI sho hope nex yeara white Sanny we git'Cause de black Sanny Clawsjus' ain't wuf a shit!!

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