"During the 7-day Arab-Israeli war..." joke

During the 7-day Arab-Israeli war, the opposing armies were camped extremely close to one another on the first night of the war. One Israeli yelled out: "Hey Abdul, are you there?" On the Arab side, Abdul stood up and said "Yeah?" The Israelis took out their machine guns and mowed down Abdul. The second night, another Israeli yelled out, "Hey Mohammed, are you there?" On the Arab side, Mohammed stood up and said "Yeah?" The Israelis took out their machine guns and mowed down Mohammed. On the third night, the Arabs got smart. One of them yelled "Hey Moshe, are you there?" The Israelis yelled back, "No, Moshe isn't here but is that you, Achmed?" Achmed stood up and said "Yeah?" and the Israelis took out the machine guns and mowed down Achmed.

The United Nations conducted a worldwide survey with one single question:

"Would you please give your opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure:

* In Latin America, they didn't more...

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A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"
"Guilty", said the man in the dock.
At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted more...

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A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much?"
Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job."
Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a more...

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A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the
evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at
it.
When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window,
takes deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other more...

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EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATION
Date ____________________
Name _____________________
Department ________________________
Title _____________________________
Supervisor _________________________
KNOWLEDGE
1. This s.o.b. really knows his shit!
2. more...

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