"Don't mess with this old lady!" joke

An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City Building, when a young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!"Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over, farts and says... "Broccoli. 49 cents a pound!"

Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!

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A married man was spending the afternoon with his girlfriend when she asked that he shave his beard.
"I do like your beard, John, but I would really love to see your handsome face," she said.
"My wife loves this beard, honey," he replied. "I more...

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Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one

Michael J. Fox has a short one

Madonna doesn't have one and

Bill Clinton uses his a lot

What is "it"?



A last name!

Now what were you thinking?

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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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