"Cool Bumper Stickers!" joke
Cool Bumper Stickers-A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. -Horn broken, watch for finger. -My kid had sex with your honor student. -If at first you don't succeed, try not to look astonished. -I. R. S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. -Jesus loves you... Everyone else thinks you're an asshole. -I'm just driving this way to piss you off. -Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. -Keep honking, I'm reloading. -Hang up and drive. -Guns don't kill people, postal workers do. -Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit. -If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? -Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. -I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather did, not kicking and screaming like his passengers. -I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar. -We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. -Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! -Make it idiotproof and someone will make a better idiot. -I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing! -He who laughs last thinks slowest! -Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. -There's too much blood in my caffeine system. -Assassins do it from behind. -If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic. -Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. -I used to have a handle on life, then it broke. -Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. -I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. -Where there's a will, I want to be in it. -Few women admit their age... few men act theirs. -We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? -Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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