"Classroom/Teacher/Joke" joke
Teacher:Can anyone tell me what a shamrock is?
Jimmy:It's a fake diamond, Miss.
What's the longest piece of furniture in the school?
The multiplication table.
'Why are you crying, Amanda?'asked the teacher.
'Cos Jenny's broken my new doll, Miss,' she cried.
'How did she do that?'
'I hit her on the head with it.'
The night-school teacher asked one of his pupils when he had last sat an exam.'1945'said the lad.
'Good lord! That's more than 50 years ago.'
'No, Sir! An a hour and a half ago. It's quarter past nine now.'
What is the most popular sentence at school?
I don't know!
Teacher: 'Are you good at arithmetic?'
Hal: 'Well, yes and no.'
Teacher: 'What do you mean, yes and no?'
Hal: 'Yes, I'm no good at arithmetic.'
Science teacher: 'Lisa, can you tell me one substance that conducts electricity?'
Lisa: 'Why, er...'
Science teacher: 'Wire is correct.'
When is a yellow school book not a yellow school book?
When it is read!
Teacher: 'Eat up your roast beef, it's full of iron.'
Pupil: 'No wonder it's so tough.'
Why should a school not be near a chicken farm?
To avoid the pupils overhearing fowl language.
A man leaned toward an attractive woman at a bar and told her, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
"Yes," she replied in a loud voice, "I'm the receptionist at the V.D. clinic
A middle-aged woman looks in the mirror.
"God, I look old, fat and ugly," she says to her hubby. "Pay me a compliment, dear."
Her hubby says, "Your fucking eyesight's good!"
The blonde reported for her University final examination, which consists of "yes/no" type questions.
She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and more...
I went out with my mink coat on last night.
Some silly cow shouted at me, "Some poor animal died to make that coat."
I said, "It's ok sweetheart, this one was dead already."