"Bathroom Privileges" joke

TO: All EmployeesFrom: ManagementRe: Restroom PolicyIn the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective Feb. 25, 1995 a Restroom Policy will be established to provide a consistant method of accounting for each employee's restroom time and ensuring equal treatment of all employees. Under this policy, a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given a Restroom Trip Credit of 20 points. RTC can be accumulated from month to month. Shortly, the entrances to all the restrooms will begin being equipped with personnel identification stations and computer linked voice print recognition. During the next two (2) weeks, each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) management by Feb. 10, 1995. The voice print recognition stations will be operational, but not restrictive, for the month of Feb. Employees should aquaint themselves with the stations during this period. It will be restrictive starting March 1, 1999. If an employee's RTB balances at zero (0), the doors to all restrooms will not unlock for that employee's voice print until the first of the month. In addition, all the restrooms are being equipped with a time paper roll retractor. If the restroom is occupied for more than three (3) minutes, an alarm will sound throughout the entire building. A computer simulated voice will be activated and announce over the public announcing system the name of the delinquent employee. Ten (10) seconds later, the roll of paper will retract, the toilet will flush and the restroom door will automatically open. If at that time, the employee still remains seated inside the stall, the restroom cameras (which will be linked to the payroll and security console) will turn on. Your cooperation on this matter will be appreciated. If you have any questions about the new policy, please feel free to ask you supervisor. Thank You! Management

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