"Animal quickies" joke
A tomcat told a female cat, "For you, I would die."
The female asked, "How many times?"
Then there was the young female dinosaur who became a "woman." She had her first century.
A donkey had an IQ of 186. He had no friends at all though. Even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass.
Did y'all ever wonder why mice have such small balls?
Easy - very few of them can dance at all.
A Mother mouse and her baby were walking by a cave when a bat flew out. "Look Ma!" said the youngster, "An Angel."
You always hear that a camel can go 500 miles without water. How come nobody's ever bothered to see how far they can go WITH water.
A young teen studying sex education went to the zoo and saw her first kangaroo. As she was watching, a baby kangaroo stuck its head out of the Mother's pouch.
"Just as I suspected," the girl said to herself. "Caesareans do leave a nasty scar."
You've all heard of Russian roulette and a joke's been making the rounds about African roulette. How many of you know how to play Indian roulette though? You're given a flute and 6 large cobras, one of whom is deaf.
This is an actual essay written by a college applicant, when applying to NYU where he now attends.
3A. ESSAY IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:
ARE THERE ANY more...
A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want."The Russian begins thinking, more...
An eager, but less than bright, young entrepreneur decides to
go into the painting business. So he wanders into the rich part
of town, paint brush in hand, and knocks at the door of a
large house.
"Good day, sir. I was wondering if you had any painting more...
Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven.
Upon arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course they have ever seen.
St. Peter tells them that they are all welcome to play the course, but he cautions them that there is only one more...
A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- "No."
- "Got any fresh vegetables?"
- "No. We have only canned and dry goods."
The next day, the duck returns:
- "Got any fresh more...