"A stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurant..." joke
A stuffy matron is with a new man in a top restaurant. The onion soup getsto her, and as the waiter is serving the main dishes she lets loose abombastic fart. Trying to save face, she says to the waiter:"Sir! Please stop that immediately.""Certainly, madame," replies the waiter with a bow, "which way was it headed?"
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Scientists have invented, at the cost of $75 million in research, a robot that repels eyeliner, lipstick & mascara.
You couldn't make it up!
A very absent-minded professor entered a crowded bus, with no available seats. Suddenly a little girl raised from her seat and offered it to the professor. He was astonished and said to her:
- You are a very good girl, what's your name?
- My name is Eve, daddy...
A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."