"A guy went out on the golf course " joke

A guy went out on the golf course took a high-speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground. When he finally got himself to the doctor, he said, "How bad is it doc? I'm getting married next week, and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way." The doc said, "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay by next week." So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art. The guy mentioned none of this to his girl. They got married and on the honeymoon night in their hotel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them, and she said,You'll be the first; no one has ever touched them before." He tore off his pants and said, "Look at this. It's still in the crate!"

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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A
guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always
wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads
in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day
he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for
sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Jim decided to propose to Sandy. But prior to her acceptance, Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts the maturity of a 12 year old's.

He stated that it was okay, because he loved more...

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The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaims,

"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger... In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days."

"Before I kill you, I more...

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