"A city slicker moves to the country..." joke
A city slicker moves to the country and decides he's going to take up
farming.
He heads to the local co-op and tells the man, "Give me 100 baby
chickens." The co-op man complies.
A week later the man returns and says, "Give me 200 baby chickens." The
co-op man complies.
Again, a week later the man returns. This time he says, "Give me 500
baby chickens."
"Wow!" the co-op man replies. "You must really be doing well!"
"Naw," said the man with a sigh. "I'm either planting them too deep or
too far apart!"
A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey on the dashboard.
After a few miles, he asks the driver what the monkey is for.
The driver says "I'll show you," and with that he hits the monkey with the back of his hand, sending more...
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, "I wish you could more...
There's a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board.
The headquarters in the US calls:"Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to comms for instructions."
He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the more...
Why aren't chick's farts nearly as loud as men's?
Because they don't stop talking long enough to build up any back pressure.
How is a woman like a cop car?
They both make lots of noise to let you know they are coming.
What did Adam say when he more...
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...