"A Fond Farewell" joke
A young woman married and had 9 children.
Her husband died and she soon married again and had 7 more children.
Again, her husband died, but she remarried and this time had 4 children. Alas, she finally died.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandments to "Go forth and multiply".
In his final eulogy, he noted, "Thank you, Lord, that they are finally together."
Leaning over to his neighbor, one mourner asked: "Do you think he means her first, her second or her third husband?"
The other mourner replied, "I think he means her legs."
A company was doing an English-language movie where, at one point, an exhausted messenger was supposed to dash in, collapse, and gasp out a vital message in Swahili. They even found someone who knew the language, and the scene worked beautifully in the movie -- until it played more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...